For the first time today, I heard someone make the argument that opening doors or laying down a jacket for the lady to cross the puddle is a chauvinistic concept. Heard, people. I HEARD it; someone didn’t tweet it. It was said. Imagine my shock.
I’m not sure what feminism is anymore. For a while, I thought it was about fairness, and giving honour to whom it is due, but now, there’s just a whole lot of balderdash involved.
I am a woman and I would like to say now that there can never be gender equality. Men are men. Women are women. We were made to balance each other out, that’s why we’re different.
No matter how ‘woke’ we choose to be, we cannot just conveniently forget that as humans, a lot of our actions are governed by instinct. This is why a three-year-old boy might frown and try to hit back when he’s spanked while a three-year-old girl might cry. Instinct. We cannot throw away our biological wiring in the name of equality.
I engaged the young woman that made the shocking statement above. Her argument basically was that women can and will -eventually- do everything men can do and the only reason we’re not doing that yet is because we are conditioned from birth to want less. Maybe she’s right about being brought up to want less for ourselves, but in correcting this notion, we must never lose sight of the fact that men and women are different and women weren’t made to compete with men, we were made to do and accomplish what men cannot.
We talked about brute force, and she argued that the reason women aren’t as strong as men is because – once again – we have been conditioned to be weak. In all honesty, I have never heard an odder argument. There are women that can take on ANY man and end the brawl with a TKO. Men are the brute force. This does not in any way diminish my value or intelligence or dignity as a woman. The first instinct of a man in the face of confrontation is brute force. As a woman, it’s not.
Telling a man that he doesn’t have to open doors or pull out the chair for you to sit diminishes his respect for you somewhat, and when it’s down and dirty; he’ll do you in the way he’ll deal with his guy, James. He’s not doing those things because he thinks you’re weak, he’s doing them out of a natural instinct to be macho and protective (although now ehn, it can just be the Yoruba Demon alive in him). If you complain about how “most men” don’t cook, sisteh wait till you bag your own husband. You work it out and let him know that it’s a partnership and he has to pull his weight with chores too.
As for domestic violence, it goes both ways and it’s worse when the women is the perp because yunno, Hell hath no fury… Domestic violence is an issue to be tackled on all fronts for everybody. We all need to learn to respect each other’s HUMANITY. Female Genital Mutilation is another terrible issue of ignorance inflicted on women by women. That requires considerable reeducation; so does the trauma of mourning one’s husband according to tradition.
What Feminism fights for is fairness, not equality. These are different. Give the girl the choice of doing well, before assuming that she can’t be an architect or engineer because she’s a She. Give her the choice of failure. Don’t give Jelili the promotion, passing over Kausarat because Jelili is a man. Let Hasanat cave under pressure first, before you give Obi the contract.
Give Her the choice of failure. This is Feminism.