Thinking Out Loud

So… I’ve been offline for a while now. I’m not sure there’s a valid excuse for it so I apologise to the little following this blog has for the break in transmission. So; on to today’s musings…

You know how sometimes, you look at someone’s life an say “Gosh! I wish I had that…” and don’t roll your eyes and scoff and act all confident because you’re “confident and secure”; you do it. Everybody does. We’re human. We’re never satisfied.

I do this. A lot actually. Its a hobby almost. These past few days though, I’ve just been thinking… I mean would I really be happy if EVERYONE wanted to know me? I mean it’d be cool to feel wanted and accepted by so many people, but then I thought to myself: considering how very superficial I like to keep my relationships, would being like the next person or having those ‘cool’ friends really make me happy?

For a long time, I have felt like I let everybody steer me wherever they want, whenever they want. Maybe it’s my fault; I don’t put my foot down or raise my voice enough, but personally, I feel like all that drama is a waste of time. Someone almost picked a fight because I’m not angry enough. I don’t want to be angry. It’s useless. Nobody cares.

So, on this short stroll to self discovery, I realized that I hate parties and I’m not overly nice, I really don’t care what people think, I’m intelligent and pretty. I DID glo up and in the end there’s just one of me and there’ll only ever be one of me. In the end, it’s not always the long road that reveals things. Take a stroll sometime…

I did.

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